Here is an approach to reverse the damage caused by “The Three P’s“. It helps first to write down the problems.
1. Dispute the Negative Stuff With Truth: Identify the lie, and say “that’s absolutely wrong.” Put it into perspective, look at the good stuff… be objective! It’s all to easy to take mistakes too personally when you’re stuck in the mud.
Every great movie has crises scenes… and life can be a bit similar sometimes. Look for a way to launch off the crises into a new, stronger place.
2. Control: Can vs. Can’t: I’ve found this particularly helpful. What can I do? What can’t I do? What’s my problem to sort out? What isn’t?
Your brain can turn into a cesspool of stress by focusing on things out of your control. That doesn’t sound good, so don’t go there! In times of high pressure, when things seem to be getting out of control, this Can/Can’t exercise can be a good one. See Matthew 6:25-34 to be challenged about worry or anxiety.
3. We Must Connect: Surround yourself with people. We are made for relationships. Don’t be an isolationist… call people, get together for lunch, put energy into growing a mutually enriching network of relationships. And don’t be afraid to ask for help!
Dr. Cloud tells a story of a monkey in cage to illustrate this point. In a study, a particular monkey’s stress level dropped 50% simply by having a buddy. Humans need a buddy too!
Adapted from the “Reversing the Death Spiral of a Leader” talk by Dr. Henry Cloud at the Global Leadership Summit 2013. Part 4.